I bought my own Mother’s Day present

I’ve always thought that there was nothing more ridiculous than buying yourself something and then giving it to someone else to wrap up and give back to you as a present on a special occasion. And we all know someone who does this right? Surely the whole point of receiving a gift is the anticipation, the surprise, the wonder of ‘how did they know?’ and the gratitude for their generosity to think of you. Buying something for yourself takes all of the joy out of getting a present doesn’t it? It’s just putting on the show of recieving a gift, and what purpose does that serve? I remember clearly, last year around Mother’s day, expressing my distaste of such mad behaviour. Mother’s day is the absolute worst day of the year to be buying your own presents for. The whole point of Mother’s day is to feel the love and adoration of your family for a years worth of hard Mothering, and how exactly would buying yourself something do that? Nope, I had my cards made by the girls, my new scarf chosen by Mabel, and my favourite chocolates and I was happy. I would never be the kind of Woman who bought their own Mother’s day present.

Until, I was.

It happened kind of by accident. I was just browsing Instagram when I saw a post that caught my eye. Crafted Sisterhood were down to their last few Mama Fuel mugs and I’d had my eye on one for a while. Before I knew it I’d rushed over to their site and with a couple of clicks it was mine. Yay!

Well, until the guilt set in. I couldn’t help it. It was only a mug, it cost less than 10 pounds. But, I have lots of mugs already, the Aero mug I got with an Easter egg 5 years ago is still going strong. And here’s the thing, I don’t go out to work, I don’t add a single penny of income to the family pot, so what business have I got buying something for myself that I really don’t need? And not only that, but why am I buying things for myself when I should be buying things for the children? Mabel really needs some more shopkins, and Ernie only has 6 pairs of dungarees…. what kind of Mother am I? So that’s when I hatched the plan, Carl and the kids could give it to me for Mother’s day. Then I wouldn’t feel bad about buying myself something as frivolous as a pretty mug, because they would have got me something anyway, and most importantly, it saves Carl a job. This way he doesn’t have to go to the trouble of thinking of something that I’d like and then find the time to go out to the shops without me around. He works hard, and then when he’s at home he’s just as hands on as me, the last thing he needs is the pressure of getting me a present on top of that.

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So, that’s how it happened, it took me nearly four years and three children but I’m finally there, I’ve turned into ‘one of those Women’. And I was fine about it. I still knew that a present I had bought for myself and then pretended was from the kids and Carl, wasn’t really a proper Mother’s Day present, but I didn’t care. I’m lucky enough that Carl and the kids make me feel appreciated every day. Mabel with the pictures she draws for me, Greta with her snotty kisses and ‘luffs ouuu Mummy’, Ernie with his biggest smiles that he saves just for me, and Carl with the bar of chocolate he brings me after work when I’ve been hounding him all day with ‘THE KIDS ARE TRYING TO BREAK ME’ messages. I don’t really need a present and a special day to feel the love. I suppose maybe this is my first Mother’s day when I’m feeling pretty secure and confident in my role as a Mummy, at least from my little family’s point of view. I already know that they think I’m doing a good job.

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Except of course that what I’d done was completely ridiculous, and I knew it was. Firstly, Carl wanted to get me a present (a proper one that he got to choose), so I was most likely going to end up with 2 presents anyway. And then Mabel started telling me about how she was going to pick something for me with Daddy (‘when you’re not looking Mummy, and I’m not going to tell you what it is, it’s got to be a surprise!’). I had forgotten that the giving part was just as important as the recieving part. It’s not all about me, in other words.

And secondly, why do I feel guilty for treating myself? I know I’m not the only Mum that feels like this, whether it’s spending money or time on something just for yourself, there’s always the guilt, always the need to justify it to yourself. It’s not something that anyone puts on me, it’s just something internal and I’m not sure where it comes from except the intense love I have for these little ones and my natural instinct to put them at the heart of everything I do. In fact, I haven’t asked him but I’m pretty sure Carl feels the same way because he hardly ever does anything for himself either. Being a parent, you get so used to putting everyone else first, it starts to feel really strange when you do anything for yourself. So that’s why I’ve decided….

I’m giving myself the bloody mug for Mother’s day.

This Mother’s day, I’m going to say to myself ‘Of course you deserve a little treat, you work hard to raise these children and you are doing a perfectly acceptable job at it’. It’s very rare that I give myself a pat on the back, but I think Mother’s day is the perfect day to do it.

And I think everyone should do the same, if they don’t already. Buy the thing that you don’t need but just looking at it makes you happy. Take some time for yourself to do something entirely self indulgent. Do it because you want to do it, and don’t ask anyone’s permission. And for one day, try not to feel guilty about it.

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Have you ever bought your own present? Do you feel guilty buying things for yourself or doing things for yourself? Or do you make a point of a little self gratification every now and then? I’d really love to know everyone’s thoughts on this one.

Thank you for reading! Come and find me on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram, follow the blog by email if you want to make sure you never miss a post, and if you like this post, I’d be absolutely made up if you shared it!

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47 thoughts on “I bought my own Mother’s Day present

  1. Awww what a lovely read, of course, you should buy yourself something maybe not that £500 bag we all really want but something cute that makes us smile every day I say go for it and never feel guilty! I like to get myself something small every month, the rest of the time I spend every last penny and ounce of energy on others so a new top or flowers each month isn’t such a bad thing 🙂 When the kids or my partner notice I’ve bought myself something new I like to tell them it’s from me with them in mind of course, where would they be without a happy mummy! #bloggerclubuk

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      • Definitely the same! I agonise over it every month, in fact last month I chose not too as it’d just been Christmas etc and my partner got me a little treat instead! I like the fact it’s become the norm, and I hope I’m teaching the kids it’s ok to treat yourself kindly too. I’d love to be really kind to myself with a weeks holiday but I think that’s a long way off 😉 x

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  2. A little while ago I decided I was going to treat myself every so often to something nice I had seen for me and try not to feel guilty for it! I don’t get myself something every month but when I do it always makes me smile. I’ve not bought myself a present as such but I will drop very big hints about things i could do with.
    I think your mug is fab x

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  3. I was planning on buying myself some daffodils, I could go pick some but I’ve got too much to do, plus I don’t think I can pick from peoples gardens!

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  4. Oh this is such a lovely post – OF COURSE you deserve to treat yourself, and looking at that mug, I can see why you couldn’t resist. It’s adorable! I bought LPD and I a ‘First Class Mum’ and ‘First Class Dad’ stamp mugs just after Christmas as a random treat and felt a bit weird about it as technically we’re not parents yet… but couldn’t help myself. We haven’t used them yet – they’re still in the packaging awaiting us to feel justified in using them!

    It’s so lovely that your little ones are so excited about giving you a gift! I feel terrible, as we weren’t really encouraged as kids to buy presents for our parents and they never really encouraged it as behaviour so we never did. We did THINGS for them – like making them breakfast in bed or picking some flowers from the garden and things like that, but going out to buy a present (for birthdays, Christmas, Mothers/Fathers Day) didn’t occur to us. I think it’s so lovely to encourage this behaviour in children!

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    • Of course you are already parents! I bet you think about your little baby more than you think about anything else, that’s the biggest part of being a parent! I think the present side of things has only got more popular in recent years, I don’t remember getting much for my mum, a photo frame or a candle maybe. I agree, its great to encourage a generous spirit in the kids. We do encourage ours to do home made presents and cards and things too because I don’t want them to think its all about spending money. Thank you for your lovely comment!

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  5. Great post and I love the mug! Everyone deserves a little present every now and again and I don’t think that excludes mummy’s. I have brought things in the past and got my husband to give them to me, but he will still always buy me a surprise present too. Alice loved going out last weekend to buy my present for mothers day and is always reminding daddy they need to go and wrap it up in the bedroom where mummy won’t see. I love to see her excitement in the whole buying/giving presents. x

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    • Thank you lovely. Its lovely that they get almost as excited about giving presents as they do receiving them! I don’t know what Mabel’s chosen for me, probably something she wants like a shopkins playset! x

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  6. i buy my own presets all the time.I am also an expert at very subtle unsubtle hinting like sending my husband the link for the cath kidston bag i have my eye on. May he do what he will with that. I think ts nice to treat ourselves and reward ourselves. I love the little note you wrote yourself!

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  7. I’m rubbish at buying things for myself! But I do think it’s really important to do something now and then that’s just for me. Now my daughter is sleeping better I really love going to bed early with some chocolate and something my husband would hate to watch on the ipad, bliss, and pretty guilt-free way to indulge and look after myself! x #BloggerClubUK

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  8. I think it is important to reward yourself with gifts once in a while and there is nothing wrong with buying yourself a mug. I remember buying a lush bath set and the lady asked me who I was buying it for and I said myself because why not lol x

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  9. You can see the ‘mummy guilt’ at work here. You shouldn’t feel too bad. You say that you don’t contribute financially but ask yourself this – How different would things be if you didn’t do anything at all. You deserve the mug!

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  10. Oh my God! I am so glad it’s not just me that feels so guilty about buying for myself. I can buy the kids unnecessary things they don’t need without batting an eyelid but if it’s for me it’s a different thing. Even if it is something essential I still tend to buy for my girls instead. This is probably why I am still wearing clothes with my name sewn into them from school. I’m 32.

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  11. What a lovely post!!! I love the whole idea and I think we should never feel guilty to buy ourselves something lovely!! Why not? We work hard every day because being mums is the hardest job ever!! 😉 And yes I have bought things to myself before and I loved it!! lol 🙂 xx

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  12. Last year my kids didn’t even acknowledge it was mothers day, no cards, no present, just bickering. Plus hubby was working – I wish I had bought myself a present!!

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  14. I love the mug – great choice!! You have nothing to feel guilty about lovely – you picked something for yourself & you deserve it! Full-time motherhood is a lot of work & you contribute all of that to your household. We should all rid ourselves of the mom guilt! Have a very happy mothers day tomorrow! Thanks so much for sharing with blogger club uk x

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